Walk This Way

This past week has been filled with emotions. It began (or actually last week ended) on an extremely high note. As I mentioned in my previous post, my son Stephen got married to his beautiful bride, and my now daughter-in-law, Sunny. It was a beautiful day (even though it did rain a little) and could not have gone any better. Friends and family came from far away to be there and be a part of that special day and it was indeed special.

Then came Wednesday. Now, in and of themselves, Wednesday’s are not typically that bad. But this past Wednesday wasn’t just another Wednesday. You see, this past Wednesday was December 15th. I’m aware that December 15th is probably not that special of a day to many people. But to me it is. On Wednesday, December 15th my mom would have been 82 years old. That’s right. Would have been! Sadly my mom passed away in 1998 at the age of 58.

Trust me, I understand that my opinion is extremely biased, but I have never met anyone quite like my mom. She was not perfect. But she was awfully close. She loved big and always, always saw the best in everyone. In fact, until the day she died she thought O.J. was innocent! But that was just my mom. She never said a cross word about anyone. At least not in my presence or loud enough that I could hear her.

She didn’t have an easy life, but you would not have known it. She worried about everything but she kept her problems to herself. She did not want anyone to be bothered with worrying about her. And she would never want to trouble anyone. She loved music, and because of her, her children loved music as well. Probably the only things she loved more than music was her children (and grandchildren) and her Lord.

When my son Stephen had his first dance with his new bride Sunny, I began to think of my mom. The song that Stephen & Sunny danced to, was a song that he wrote and recorded for that very dance. My mom’s musical influence has been passed on to her grandchildren. Many of them barely knew her, including my son Stephen. But, musically speaking, it didn’t matter. Her influence is that strong.

As I was filming the dance that evening, crying because my son had married the woman of his dreams and because he had written a beautiful song, I was also crying because my mom was not there to enjoy that moment. But, I do believe she was present.

I have preached and taught the Bible for over 20 years. I have a Master’s degree in Theology, and I still am not sure what I believe when i comes to someone in heaven being able to see what is going on down here. (Other than God of course). But I do believe she saw that moment. Maybe it’s just because I want to believe it.

Happy birthday mom! And while I would give anything to see you again and to hear your sweet voice sing, I would not want you to miss one moment of heaven!

Last night I had the privilege of seeing Rhett Walker in concert at The Mulehouse here in Columbia, TN. Admittedly, I didn’t know much about Rhett before last night. (Rhett is the one in the cowboy hat). I had heard his name, but couldn’t tell you any of his songs. But my good friend Taft Ayers from WayFM offered me some free tickets to take a group of young adults, and I love live music, so we went. I was impressed with Rhett’s style and sound. I like a wide variety of music. But what really grabbed my attention was Rhett’s honesty and humility. It was evident and it wasn’t a bit showy. His testimony was powerful and his love for Jesus comes through in every song he sings.

About midway through his first set, he did a song he wrote called Like Your Father Does. He wrote the song soon after he became a father for the first time. The message is clear. As a father, he loves his children like no one else on earth (with he exception of his wife). However, even though the love of a parent is strong, it doesn’t compare to the love that our Father has for us. As a parent myself, that’s hard to imagine. Yet I know it’s true.

This morning while I was working out, this particular song came through my AirPods. The lyrics hit me harder this time than they did when I first heard it. As I mentioned above, I am a father myself. I have two sons that are now young adults. (26 & 22 as of this writing). They are as different from each other as two brothers could be yet I cannot imagine my life without them. It’s no secret, I’ve not been the perfect father. I have let them down too many times and in too many ways to explain. Yet I could not imagine being any more prouder of them or loving either of them any more than I already do. However, my love for them does not compare or even come close to how much God loves them! He is the perfect Father! There is a line in the song that states, “Wherever you go, whatever you do, I want you to know there’s nothing to prove. I’ve always loved you.” That’s how my love for them is and most importantly, that’s how God love them.

One week from tomorrow, December 11, 2021, my oldest son Stephen will marry the young lady that God has created for him. To say that I am proud doesn’t scratch the surface. Yes we have groaned a bit about how weddings these days are very different then when his mother and I got married in 1993. But, at the end of the day, the result will be the same. They will be husband and wife and God will be honored. (I would post a picture of the happy couple but I can’t figure out how to post 2 pictures in the same blog post!) I may not be the happiest person there that day, but there will be no one more happy or more proud. And even though I cannot imagine loving Stephen and his wife Sunny any more than I already do, it doesn’t come close to loving them the way that Their Father Does!

I just finished reading my copy of Read to Lead by my friend Jeff Brown and Jesse Wisnewski. Honestly, I wanted to be a part of the “launch team” to be the first to read the book primarily because Jeff Brown is a personal friend and I wanted to be supportive. I also just enjoy reading. Let me begin by stating that my last comment is still a bit hard for me to type and believe. “I enjoy reading.” I never imagined those words coming from my lips (or fingers in this case). Growing up, I never read. Oh sure, I remember reading Encyclopedia Brown in grade school but that was about it. I wasn’t really a “gamer” either. Video games were just becoming a big deal when I was a kid in the 70’s, and I did have most of the various systems, but I just wasn’t overly hooked. Most of my time was spent outside playing whatever game or sport I could play. By the time Jr High and High School rolled around, I was way into sports (and girls too but mostly sports because they seemed to like me better). The first book I ever remember reading from cover to cover was in 7^th grade. This was the year the movie The Outsiders came out. My entire 7^th grade class had to read the book and then got to go see the movie.

From that time until my mid 20’s, I could probably count on one hand how many books I had read. (And this was while I secured both a Bachelor and a Masters degree!). However, sometime in my late 20’s, I developed an interest in reading. Most of my reading included Christian books or books on leadership. Soon I began to develop more than just an interest. A love for reading had been birthed.

I knew that reading and leading were tied together. There is a definite correlation. I found that in Read to Lead, that connection is deeper then I had realized. One of the first quotes from the book that I underlined was a quote from Harry S. Truman, 33^rd President of the United States. The quote from President Truman states, “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” Jeff and Jesse do an excellent job of not just stating why we should read (they have loads of evidence to back this up in the book), but they also share with us how to become a better reader. They have listed several tips how to read faster, how to retain better what you have read, how to read something (and why) that you may not be particularly interested in, and even some advice on how and why to start a book club.

If you want to be a better reader, and therefore a better leader, this simple yet practical book is a must read!

The other day I was reminded of an old song by Lenny LeBlanc. I had heard him perform at a Promise Keepers event back in the early to mid 1990’s. Yes, I am that old! Anyways, the song was called “All My Dreams.” For some reason the song got stuck in my head. Music always has a way of doing that for me. So when I had the opportunity, I went to my iTunes and downloaded the entire album. The album (still showing my age) was titled appropriately enough, “All My Dreams” and was released in 1994.

Anyways, as you can probably imagine by the title, the song was about chasing your dreams and having them come true. Not all at once. But one by one, as you pursue them and work hard, dreams do come true. At least that’s what it appears on the surface. However, the deeper story of the song is about chasing what you thought were your dreams only to find out they weren’t your dreams at all. You just thought they were,.

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with having dreams. And it’s good to pursue them. But, I think it’s possible to miss the moments on the way to the dream. In those “moments” on the way to achieving your dream, God does some really cool things. For example, as long as I can remember, my dream was to play baseball. And not just play but to one day play in college and even in the major leagues. I had some great moments along the way and I did get to play in college but that’s as far as the dream went. Looking back, I have so many regrets from not achieving the ultimate pinnacle of my dream, that I missed some amazing things and people along the way.

I regretted not playing hard enough. I regretted not making the most of every opportunity given to me. And because I was so focused on those regrets, I missed and did not take advantage of some great blessings. I missed chances to make much of God because I was too busy making much of the fact that I thought I hadn’t reached my ultimate dream.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have dreams. I dream to speak & preach more than I currently do. I also dream to write. Which is why I am writing this blog. I don’t know if anyone will read it. And honestly, I’m to the point that I don’t care if anyone reads it. I’m writing it for myself. Because I want to write. That is now a dream of mine. Because, again, there’s nothing wrong with having dreams.

Just remember, on your way to chasing your dreams, don’t miss the little moments that God provides along the way. Sometimes those end up meaning more then accomplishing the dream itself!

I wrote this piece as an encouragement and reminder to the small group leaders at the church I currently serve. The attached article is not original to me. It is an article that Thom Rainer, former President of LifeWay Christian Resources, wrote that I felt needed to be shared with our small group leaders. After sharing it though, I really felt the need that all of us, yes even you and me, need to be reminded of this. As a pastor for over 22 years now, I’ve heard lots of things regarding the state of our church…the church that I was serving at the time. Don’t get me wrong, pastors are not perfect. I am living proof of that! And we most definitely need to be held accountable. But, not everything is our fault. So, what we as church members say regarding the church, and for that matter who we say it too, has the potential to do great damage to the unity of the church you attend. I think the piece I originally wrote explains the rest of my reason for writing.

I know we are in a transitional season. I know that there is still much uncertainty. But I also know that God is still God and He is still in control! (Somebody say amen to that!)

The article I am attaching is in no way meant to challenge anyone from having their own opinion. We all have opinions. And we are welcome to have them. However, sometimes in the church setting, those opinions can bring division where division should not be. Please don’t misunderstand me. We will not all agree on everything, even within the church. And I’m not even suggesting that we should all agree on everything. However, especially within the church, there has to be unity. We may not agree with the approach or decisions that are made. But we should all agree that our mission as followers of Christ and a body of believers has never changed. We are to be about making much of Jesus and sharing Him and His grace, love and mercy with everyone we see.

Sometimes however, I think we let our emotions get in the way of our unity. I truly don’t think it is intentional. But it happens.

Thom Rainer, former President of LifeWay Christian Resources, published an article yesterday (March 28, 2021) entitled, “7 Deadly Statements of Church Members.” Again, please hear my heart. I am not suggesting that we should not express our opinions. But maybe we should just be more careful how and where we express them. Also, I am not implying that Thom Rainer is right on every detail he shares in the article. I just thought it would be good for each of us to read and give it some thought. I know I have!

The 7 Deadly Statements that Rainer identifies are as follows:

1. I Like Our Church Just the Way It Is.
2. My Pastor Doesn’t Visit Me Enough.
3. I Always Vote “No” Just to Keep the Leadership in Check.
4. I Just Can’t Worship with Our Style of Music.
5. People Know Where Our Church is If They Want to Come.
6. I Love You Pastor, but…
7. I Pay My Tithes Here, So I Deserve…

You can find the article, along with explanations of each one HERE.

I know this year has been crazy. I know that some have and are continuing to suffer because of COVID and the effects of this crisis. Some have lost jobs and even loved ones. So, I do not mean to make light of the difficulty that many have had to endure during this season. But I do want to remind us that even in the midst of difficulty, we have much to be thankful for. 
I understand, we may not feel like being very thankful right now. But thankfulness is not a feeling. It’s a choice! We have to choose to be thankful! 
Paul commands in scripture to, “16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (! Thessalonians 5:16-18)
How can Paul, a man who knew the difficulty of life, especially that of following Jesus, find a way to be joyful and thankful? Let me offer a few suggestions:

1. Prayer must be a Priority.
In verse 16, we are told to pray without ceasing. This is foundational! When you don’t understand something,  pray that God would give you discernment. Prayer is the key to being thankful.

2. Joy Must be Particular. 
In verse 17 we are told to be joyful always. We all know that every situation does not bring joy so how is it possible to be joyful always? Our joy has to be found in only 1 thing! In this case, 1 person. That is the person of Jesus Christ. Situations change, Jesus never does! We cannot find joy in everything. But we can always find joy in the fact that we have a relationship with Christ!

Lastly,
3. Trust that God has a Plan.
Verse 18 tells us this is “the will of God.” God is up to something. You may not know what it is right now. I don’t always know either. But just because we don’t understand or “see it” at the moment, doesn’t mean that God is not at work! God is always at work and is always working for the ‘good of those that love Him.” (Romans 8:28)

It’s not possible to be thankful for every circumstance. But it is possible to be thankful in every circumstance.  Because our thankfulness is not found in the circumstances of life. Our thankfulness is found in the person of Jesus Christ!

I’m a hugger. I admit it. I even hug my bro’s (close friends and actual brothers by blood). So how is this “social distancing” affecting people like me? Truthfully, the struggle is real. I catch myself going to hug someone (that doesn’t live in my house) and have to stop. We huggers need our physical touch. Without it, we tend to become even more isolated. At least we feel that way.

We have to keep in mind, during this season, that the greater good always wins out. What does that mean? It means that we must realize that sacrificing our wants (or needs) for a little while will benefit everyone in the long run. That’s the greater good.

And here is one thing that I think will come as a benefit from all of this non-touching. When we do get the all-clear again to resume normal activity, I believe we will be much more intentional and the hugs will mean even more. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whoever first said that wasn’t thinking about the COVID-19 virus. They were thinking of being apart from a loved one maybe due to traveling or work or something of that effect. However, could it be any truer than what we are seeing today?

When things do get back to “normal” (whatever normal is these days), I don’t think we will be normal. At least I hope we won’t. I hope that we have learned from all of this that we do indeed need interaction with others. And while I hope that everyone is making the most of the time of quarantine with family, I hope we will do the same when we are given the “all-skate” announcement. That we will take time to be with people. That when we are with others, that we will truly be withthem. We will have long talks and be focused on what is being said as opposed to talking but thinking about what we reallyneed to get done. (Don’t act like you have never done that!)

So, from one hugger to another. Be wise. Practice social distancing so that this virus can run its course and move one. And while your practicing, make the most of spending time with family. Quality time that we miss out on because we’re too busy. But then, when life resumes, don’t approach it as “business as usual.” Take time to build upon those relationships that have been put on hold for an unforeseeable time. The world will, and the people in it, will need that.

As I sit here, reflecting on tonight, actually reflecting on this entire week, so many emotions fill my mind. I guess mostly I am thankful. I am thankful that in 27 years of ministry (yes I count my volunteer time…7 years as a volunteer, 20 years on paid staff) I have served only 2 churches. I take great value and maybe even a little pride in longevity. I know there are many reasons why pastors leave and I’m not intending to draw assumptions. I just know for me personally, I have had the privilege of serving 2 great churches. Not perfect churches by any means, but great just the same. I am thankful that Immanuel Baptist Church took a chance on me as a 29 year old with no pastoral ministry experience and over the course of 8 years offered me a ton of grace. I am thankful that in 2007 the Lord saw fit to move us to The First Family in Columbia, TN. The road hasn’t always been easy, but things are are highly treasured seldom come easy. I’m thankful for the countless numbers of youth ministry volunteers that have served right there with me and allowed me to lead them. I’m thankful for the untold number of families that have allowed me the privilege of serving them and trusting me with their children. And I’m thankful for the students. Wow…no telling how many students that I have had the honor of serving for over 20 years. I’ve watched them grow, become parents themselves and many even involved in ministry as well. Now, I am thankful for new chapters. And I am thankful that I get to begin this new chapter while staying at The First Family.
Yes, that’s it…I’m thankful!

It’s been a while since my last post. This is due to my laziness and lack of discipline. I love to write, I’m just not good at making myself do it. Writing I’m fine with…it’s the starting that gets me all of the time. However, today I am motivated to write. Here’s why…

Today started out like any normal Friday. I am usually off of work on Friday’s, although some would say that since I am in the ministry I really only work 2 days a week. I opened up Facebook on my phone and realized that today is my brother Alan’s birthday. The significance of that is that Alan passed away a little over 7 years ago. If I’ve done my math right he would have been 60 today. (My sister will correct me if I am wrong!)

Being a pastor isn’t always very glamorous. And that’s ok. I don’t particularly enjoy the spot light. But, being a pastor has allowed me the privilege of preaching 2 of my brother’s funerals. (My brother Jimy died in 2006). I know that “privilege” may be a strange word to use when discussing the topic of funerals. However, it is the best word I know of. It was not a fun experience, but I was honored to do it. It’s what I do.

The following are some thoughts from the message I shared at Alan’s funeral. Just thoughts from a little brother remembering his big brother on his birthday and trying to shed some light on who he really was.

When I think of Alan, many things come to mind. He was my big brother. I was blessed to be youngest of 5 children.  We had another brother, Steven, that died as an infant before most of us were born. As most big brothers are, Alan was proud of us. He bragged about us to others. He would take care of me. He was a protector, the way a big brother is supposed to be. I don’t remember this too well but I’ve been told that when I was a baby, Alan didn’t like to push me around in my stroller. But what he loved to do was ride me around on his bike. He attached a baby seat on his bike and would ride me all around. Even as a young boy, Alan showed the ability to build and fix things with his hands.

He loved family. He wouldn’t come to family functions all the time. If he did come he was usually the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. He was just introverted that way. My brothers and sister and I knew, if we ever needed him, he would be there. Nothing was more important to Alan than family.

Alan was a hard and creative worker. He worked ALL the time. He loved details and tedious tasks. Things that would drive me crazy Alan thrived on. He was a perfectionist and would never finish a job until it was completed. And by completed, I mean done perfect. He could draw anything, build anything, and fix anything. I remember one time when I was in 4^th grade. I had a school project to do with popsicle sticks. Of course, I procrastinated and waited until the last night to even begin. Alan helped me, which means of course that he built the structure by himself…in 1 night! I got an A!

As I mentioned earlier, Alan was introverted and private. He loved family but was mostly uncomfortable around people. Honestly, he felt most comfortable at home with his beloved dog Coop. He never went anywhere without that dog. Alan may have felt a little left out at times. He didn’t sing or play sports like me or my other brothers. But what is amazing to me is that while he may have felt a little less talented, it was easy for me to see that he was the most talented of any of us. No one in our family could do the things that Alan could do.

I can’t believe it’s been over 7 years, but I am thankful for the 40 years that I had with him!

Do you ever feel like there is more out there for your life? Not that you’re living outside of God’s will. Just that somehow, somewhere, there is more out there waiting for you. You may not be able to explain it but you know it’s out there. I know this is how I feel. I do feel like I am doing what God has called me to do. I also feel like there is more out there that God has in store for me. I don’t understand it all right now, but I know that God will continue to reveal it to me as I seek Him.

In his book Never Settle for Normal, Jonathan Parnell discusses this topic at length. On the back cover he writes, “Every human wants to matter and be happy, which is as it should be. God made us to resemble and reflect His worth as we enjoy our true identity in Him.” However, often times the thing that keeps us from discovering all that God has saved us to be is our own sins. We want “more” of God and get frustrated when we don’t seem to be hearing from God. When the very reason we are not hearing from God is due to the sin in our lives. Sin clutters our vision of God and therefore keeps us from experiencing the “more” that God has in store for us.

Jonathan writes on page 50, “In the blindness of sin, beneath the curse of the Fall, we humans trade in the greater glory of the immortal God for the lesser glory of mortal things. Instead of worshipping the God in whose image we’re made, we worship ourselves and the stuff we make.” In other words, sometimes it’s not even sinful things that steal our focus and worship. Often, it’s common, everyday things. Even people or other treasures that we have that in and of themselves are not bad. However, when we put those things in the place of God, those things become idols and steal the worship that rightfully belongs to God.

The very first Bible verse that I remember memorizing is John 10:10. I was probably 10 or 11 years old and I learned the NIV version. John 10:10 states, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Some translations us the word abundantly in the place of full. As a kid, I thought this to mean that Jesus came to give us eternal life. Which He definitely did do that. By placing our faith in Him as our Savior, we can have eternal life with Him in heaven. However, that is not what this particular verse means. This verse means exactly what it says. Jesus didn’t only come so that we could have eternal life. He also came so that in Him we can have abundant life on this earth. The Christian life is a life that is to be lived to the full. And just as salvation is only possible through a relationship with Jesus Christ, the abundant life is only possible through Jesus as well.

My favorite line from Never Settle for Normal, is found on page 88. Jonathan writes, “Your capacity to accept the truth of Jesus’s resurrection has no effect on its validity, but your grasp of its importance will at least help you understand its unparalleled part in the Christian story.” Our ability to understand or even believe that Jesus rose from the grave doesn’t change the fact that it happened. However, to fully experience the abundant life that Jesus has called us to, believing in Him is essential.